Finding Christmas Joy Through COVID and Cancer
By Andrea Colasurdo
Last Christmas
Last year, we celebrated Christmas with my side of the family in Northern Virginia. We spent time laughing, singing, cooking, playing, and enjoying each other’s company. It’s strange to think about now since it was the last holiday we really celebrated. Like everyone else, we had no idea what 2020 would have in store for us.
How Our Lives Changed Forever
At the end of January 2020, our healthy 12-year-old daughter, Jelena, was plagued with headaches, extreme lethargy, and occasional vomiting. Worried, we decided to call her pediatrician, who after hearing her symptoms, sent us to the pediatric emergency department and ordered a scan of her brain.
Within 3 hours we heard the words that irrevocably changed the trajectory of 2020 and our lives.
“There is a mass in your daughter’s brain, and she needs surgery.”
I stood paralyzed.
Through a blur of emotions, it was decided that Jelena would need brain surgery.
When they were ready to wheel her away, we kissed her, and I sobbed uncontrollably. Her nurse asked me if I wanted to keep Jelena’s hair that would be shaved off during surgery.
Feeling numb, I said “yes.”
At that moment, I didn’t know if that piece of hair was going to be the last piece of Jelena that I would get to hold.
After the surgery, my daughter spent 3 weeks in the hospital relearning basic skills like walking, eating, and speaking
Navigating a Cancer Diagnosis During a Pandemic
This was just the beginning of our cancer journey. With so many mountains to climb, we were not prepared for the avalanche that was coming our way in the form of a world pandemic.
It was the beginning of March and we were getting ready to move hundreds of miles away to Washington D.C. so Jelena could start radiation treatment.
Like most of the nation, Washington D.C. was trying to figure out the real threats of COVID-19 and almost immediately the city shut down. The hospitals were also trying to figure out how to best function to protect patients and staff. Things like art and music therapy were stopped, along with in-person physical and occupational therapy.
However, those challenges were nothing compared to the hospital’s restriction that allowed only one parent in the room during treatment or an appointment. That rule emotionally broke me.
Through the hardest months of our lives, my daughter remained strong. My husband nicknamed her “OTC.” One Tough Chick.
She took on this new normal and ran with it. She asked thoughtful questions to her doctors, she wanted to see her scans, and she wanted honest answers. Seeing her work so hard to get to where she is today, motivates me to show up and fight alongside her.
Our New Normal and Another Christmas
As we continue to travel 118 miles every two weeks for Jelena to receive immunotherapy treatment, we know this Christmas will be very different.
And because of the pandemic, we are not alone in this realization. So many families are facing the same dilemma.
How do you make the holidays special this year?
For us, we had to come to terms with our new reality. We had to be okay with the fact that our Christmas would look different this year.
I’m so grateful for technology like video calls that have allowed us to stay connected to our family during this time. And although we have to be careful traveling since Jelena is immunocompromised, we are looking forward to the things we can still do safely — like going to see Christmas lights!
This year, we are also looking at ways to give back as a family. We know we are not the only ones going through hardship this year and our heart goes out to families that will be in the hospital during the holidays.
Most importantly, we are focused on being grateful for what we do have. As heartbreaking as her cancer diagnosis has been (not to mention the added challenges COVID-19 presented), we have been forced to slow down and now have a different perspective on life.
Each day we move forward, waiting and hoping for *the* breakthrough for pediatric cancer treatment. Each day we have with Jelena is a gift.
So, this Christmas we will revel in the joy that she brings us.
We will rejoice that her body continues to fight this cancer and continues to heal. We will show gratitude for the skilled surgeons and teams of doctors that have given us the beautiful gift of time.
Time we were uncertain we would have.
Andrea is a proud supporter of the St. Baldrick’s Foundation. In August she shaved her head to stand in solidarity with kids with cancer and raised more than $2,300 to support St. Baldrick’s mission to fund the best childhood cancer research. This holiday season give the gift of hope. Together we can find cures and give kids a cancer-free future.
